MARICLARE LAWSON
HOW I MADE IT THROUGH LIFE SO FAR
Middle School - Paper Girl
By the time I hit the local newspaper delivery business, the customer base had all but dried up. My route started with a soft ten houses and quickly dwindled. I guess people started getting their news on TV.
High School - Telemarketer - Thermoguard Windows
Uncomfortable with the concept of selling insulated windows in the summer, I was also unaware of the concept of anywhere but a mall having air conditioning.
Cashier - Richlin Home & Auto
While working at this local store, famous for reeking of manure, I wore a vest and answered questions about spark plugs. I often wonder what exactly a spark plug does.
Waitress - Country Tavern
I learned we all have different interpretations of the 3-second rule. I also witnessed a plate of spaghetti in a compromising situation.
Stable Girl – Mini Horse Farm
One summer, I cleaned 25 mini horse stalls, two full-size stalls, and one donkey stall from dawn ‘till dusk for six bucks an hour and unlimited free lemonade. If I had time before my next job, I could swim in the pool.
Door-to-Door Knife Seller – Cutco
Who knew I was an expert in quality home cutlery? I’ll tell you who. The woman in the rented office space who promised me, and 40 other high school kids, cold hard cash for cutting pennies in half with scissors, that’s who.
Office Assistant - NYU Tisch School of the Arts, Office of Student Affairs
I made up a tour of the Tisch School of the Arts building at 721 Broadway for parents and kids to show them around and answer all their questions about going to film school. One high schooler on my tour not only came to NYU but became my intern at SNL and friend for life.
Telephone Book Delivery Person
My sister Lin and I did this job together. I drove our car very slowly down the street. Lin hopped out of the passenger side and ran to each house to drop off the phone book. More often than not, a dog or pack of dogs would chase her. Each phone book we delivered, we got 10 cents, 20 cents if we got a signature from someone at the address. I don’t want to brag, but let’s just say we made a lot of coin.
Waitress - The Lobster Shanty
I was hired together with my sister, Lin. The owner of The Lobster Shanty also owned a different lobster restaurant nearby called The Lobster Pound. He liked the idea of a waitressing team, so he poached us from the shanty and took us under his claw.
Waitress - The Lobster Pound
Once the dad and the son from The Wonder Years came in and had a lobster dinner together and it was really trippy because on the show the dad had died but here they were having dinner together all these years later. Cue: Twilight Zone music.
Chambermaid - The Orleans Holiday Motel
Lin and I cleaned old motel rooms as best we could and made a few startling discoveries. Three words: Diaper in microwave.
Maid - Cape Cod Vacation Rentals
A major perk of this job was that it came with free cable. We could put on Behind The Music in the houses while we cleaned. I learned how to properly clean behind a fridge, how to get rust out of a bathtub, and what really happened to Fleetwood Mac.
Overnight Crew - Stop and Shop
I worked in the cereal and PB & J aisle. Lin worked in the baby food and canned meats aisle, which she continues to brag about to this day. I liked being on the ladder and seeing the whole empty store while jamming to Six Pence None the Richer. Lin liked power pricing tuna and working overtime.
Elf – The Manhattan Mall
I learned from my mall Santa what a brannigan is. Hint: Santa should not be telling someone they have “a nice brannigan.”
Elf – Deutsch Bank holiday party
Did I work at Deutsch bank? No. Did I know someone who worked at Deutsch bank? No. Did I put on an elaborate elf costume and take photos with random Deutsch bank children for Deutsch bank money? You bet your brannigan I did.
Apartment Cleaner
I lived in an NYU dorm on Broome St. However, NYU only leased part of the building for students. The other part of the building contained the residences of random New Yorkers. I took it upon myself to clean those strangers’ homes for cash.
Wedding Videographer – Couple Unknown
Right before my college graduation, I filmed a magical wedding at The Angel Orensanz Foundation on the lower east side of Manhattan. To this day, I have no idea whose wedding it was. If I wanted to remember anything in those days, I needed three things: a scrap of paper, a Commerce bank pen, and my jacket with the pocket without a hole.
Dresser - New York Fashion Week
Since I had performed in community theater as a kid, I figured dressing models for New York Fashion Week would be right up my alley. I mean, backstage is backstage, right?
Instead of middle school girls awkwardly changing into sequined dance costumes and pounding two liter bottles of Diet Coke, these middle school girls were professional models, I was the one awkwardly changing them into sequined costumes, and they were pounding champagne through straws.
Nighttime Receptionist – Straw Dogs
One of my roommates was working as a receptionist at this production spot. When her boss needed someone to cover nights, she immediately thought of me. I had already solidified my reputation of not being governed by the 24-hour clock.
Receptionist – SNL
My workday was from 2 pm-10 pm. Jen, the girl who worked during the morning, stayed at the desk a few hours after I arrived. Each of us had big rolling office chairs with padded backs and arms, but only one chair could fit at the semi-circular reception desk at a time, so during our period of shift overlap, we had to sit either stadium style or awkwardly try to force both chairs into the space which would, with one wrong move, cause one of us to catapult backward.
Script PA – SNL
I learned how to proofread, translate, write fast, be accurate, think quickly and be on time.
My favorite part of this job was getting to know my coworkers and their families. I loved hearing about their kids, parents, pets, and adventures.
Script PA- SNL’s 25th Anniversary Special
The only memory I have of this is sitting next to Danny DeVito and Rhea Pearlman for one of the sketches as a seat filler.
Artist – commissioned
While the show was on summer hiatus, I started making little paintings at the SNL reception desk. Soon, my coworkers asked me to paint pieces for them. Once the season began, a writer on the show hosted an art show in his room at the Chelsea Hotel, where he lived. We auctioned off my work and the work of two other artists on staff. Even though I worked in TV, I spent my time wishing I was an artist, whatever that meant.
Freelance – 9/11: A Tribute to Heroes / The Colin Quinn Show / A & E Live by Request: Hall & Oates / Weekend Update Election Special
My bosses at SNL got me a bunch of freelance gigs in live TV. I didn’t ever know what to expect, but I always said yes.
Script PA – NBC’s 75th Anniversary Special
At the after party on the ice rink at 30 Rock, in a sea of every celebrity that had ever appeared on NBC, Mr. T stood out as the best dressed in his gold accessories, most notably a full-sized frying pan.
Script Coordinator - The 2002 MTV VMAs
The 2002 VMA’s were a pop culture tornado. It was August. I was at Radio City Music Hall. Jimmy Fallon was the host and preparing to do an elaborate musical opening. The show was incredible.
Britney Spears gave Michael Jackson a trophy. Axl Rose played a Guns N’ Roses medley. Eminem, Justin Timberlake, P.Diddy, Busta Rhymes, Pharrel, Usher, Pink, and Bruce Springsteen were some of the performers. James Gandolfini, all of Jackass, Run-D.M.C, David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar, Heath Ledger, everyone from the first American Idol, *N Snyc, and the Olsen twins were all there. J.Lo introduced Rudy Giuliani. Even James Brown was there.
Executive Assistant/Promos – Court TV
To be professional, I figured I had to dress the part, so I went to the Astoria Goodwill and bought a suit blazer, a pleated skirt, high heels, and a button-down blouse. I strut into my new corporate job in 2004 dressed as the perfect career secretary from 1982.
Creative Department– Sundance Channel
Every project I had the chance to work on at Sundance was career-changing. For example, one morning, I interviewed Wayne Coyne and the Flaming Lips about their movie, Santa on Mars, in Robert Redford’s office.
Sr. Writer/Producer/Editor – BBC America
I loved every show I worked on at BBC America. I became obsessed with the BBC series Skins and started speaking with a British accent.
Freelance Writer/Producer/Editor
I worked with many TV networks and production companies that hired me to make all sorts of video stuff. I spent my time working 90% alone in various cold, dark rooms editing video footage of past, present, and future stars.
Freelance Editor – Sports Museum of America
A feature of The Sports Museum of America was informative videos. Can you guess who cut all those videos filled with intense sports knowledge, stats, and facts? I’ll give you a hint. She is a stellar specimen of athleticism, ball handling, and grace scored a lifetime total of 5 points, 2 of them into the wrong basket.
*Her name rhymes with Airy Dare Clawson.
Creative Director – Cramp My Style
A collegue and I launched a creative company that helped a diverse range of organizations with branding, tactics, big-picture strategy, content production and lots of writing.
In fact, I wrote an essay for The New York Times and three full-length screenplays at the request of interested producers.
Amazon optioned my Times story. It is a show on Amazon Prime. (I’m an animated character now.)
Writer, Producer, Editor, Graphics – NBC News
New York City news is no joke. Not every story is heart-wrenching, but there are very few bright spots.
To get through reality, we ate a lot of ice cream during work. I’m talking a lot. Like, two of my coworkers set up a root beer float station.
Creative Producer – The View/ABC News
With two minutes’ notice, I interviewed Whoopi in front of a live studio audience without peeing my pants.
Creative Director – Lifetime/Lifetime Movie Network
At one point in time, I knew more about Lifetime movies than I knew about my own life.
Sr. Editorial Director – Viacom
During a multi-billion dollar merger (Viacom + CBS), the launch of a streaming platform (Paramount+), and a pivot to a remote workforce, I raised my corporate jargon game to the next level. Or I should say, I did a deep dive into effective executive communication and elevated my approach while laddering up to the larger brand purpose of corporate stakeholders.
VP, Editorial – Paramount
I got to spend a lot of time writing and talking about SpongeBob, Sonic, Star Trek, Stephen Colbert, and Survivor.
Animated version of my teenage self - Modern Love Tokyo: Amazon Prime Video
Ever have one of those dreams where you are in high school but something is kind of different? Like you’re you, but you’re not you and everyone is speaking Japanese?
Amazon Prime optioned my essay about my life and turned it into a TV show, now streaming in 240+ countries and territories worldwide. Life sure is funny!
Creative Coach & Writer
I’m happy to help.
